O.k. I am minding my own business.  Kind of.  I’m telling other people’s business.  My husband’s business to be more precise.  My sister and I are talking about the New Year’s Eve plans.  She is going to stay at home and enjoy her family.  They have a big tv.  A really big t.v.  Shoot if I had a big t.v. I’d be staying home too.

Since we don’t have a big t.v. we tend to do cutting edge things. Like watching our husband run the Midnight Run.  It is a 5k that starts at 10:30 so even the slowest of runners can finish the race at midnight.  This was to be Mr. B’s first 5k ever and I was going to be a witness to this monumental occasion.  Not too many people get to brag that they saw their husband run his first 5k ever on New Year’s Eve.  Are you getting it, that this is a moment to behold?

Judy didn’t either.  She asks me why aren’t I running the 5k.  There are lots of reasons that I don’t want to admit.  First the truth-I haven’t run since October.  Life took control of me.  That’s embarrasing when that happens because successful people are supposed to be in control of their lives.  Then there is another truth-I have been doing pilates because it is way easier than running.  There is less sweat. Soothing music and less of a need for proper gear.  That and I need the stretching.  I hurt myself badly this summer because I didn’t stretch.  Which takes us to reason number three.  Fear, which is more embarrassing than reason number one. I was afraid if I ran I would hurt myself again.  Of course I can’t admit this to the people I’d love.  They’d laugh or even worse chagrin me.

“It is only three miles.  You are the runner. blah blah blah and more blah.” So I suck it up and give in to sibling and spouse pressure. A long sleeve t-shirt over a tank top and under sweats, a hat, and gloves later I am ready to run.  I had a play list that lasted thirty minutes-which was supposed to be enough to get me through the race. We, Mr. B and I, embark on our adventure.  Did I mention my sister was at home watching her big t.v.?

We get there and there are couples wearing New Year’s Eve regalia.  Father Time is all decked out and ready to run.  There are some serious runners too. Shoot my chiropractor is there too and she is not wearing 200 pounds of clothes accessorized with the hat and gloves. Mrs. B is beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. I used to be a serious runner.  What happened? Oh yeah, that life taking control thing.

The race begins.  There was an older couple running together. Pointing to them I told Mr. B that would be us in 20 or so years. This was too much fun. I should have known that I was not going to make good time.  The grin on my face for the first two miles was slowing me down.  I was in heaven.  Absolute heaven.  I hadn’t felt this free and so much like myself in a long time.  The songs in the ipod were helping me keep rhythm and I noticed when there was a really cool riff my pace increased.  The gloves were in my pocket and the hat was in my waistband.  If I wouldn’t have gotten arrested for indecent exposure I would have taken off my t-shirt and ran in my tank top. So far I only had to stop to tie my shoe. Really I was afraid of breaking an ankle or something important like that.

Then at the 2.1 mile mark something happened.  I did not know this was possible.  Did you know fat cusses? Yep it was saying all kinds of mean things to me.  I argued back.  “Well if you don’t like it you can leave.”  I guees the relationship I had developed with it was stronger than I realized because it stuck around just trying to make me miserable.  But it didn’t work I was still smiling.

Mile 2.5.  The last song on the ipod was halfway throughand  the old couple tried passing me. What? Oh no they didn’t I increased my pace. The legs were torn.  Memories of long strides came to them and they wanted to run like in the old days.  Then that stupid fat, like a bad boyfriend trying to stick around tried to ruin their mojo. Fortunately the good memories were stronger than the bad fat.  All of a sudden Rhianna was ticking me off in a major way.  If that ipod wasn’t so expensive I would have thrown it.  Instead the earbuds went into the shirt and I pushed harder.

Mile 2.9 the smile is gone and I am serious about getting this race finished.  I need to get to my cell phone and tell my sister about herself.  What was she thinking telling me I could run this race. The lady in front of me probably interpretted my anger as aggressiveness and increased  her pace. “It’s all good,”  I say to myself “I know ther’es a story in this,” and just let her go.  Like I had say in the matter.

My finishing time was 33:something.  The official hugged me.  He remembered that I didn’t want a timer chip because I was afraid that I would do poorly.  I did, but it wasnt’ as embarrassing as I thought it would be and hey it got me a good job hug.

Mr. B finished three minutes ahead of me. I was kind of sad that I didn’t get to see him finish until he said…”Wow I am really surprised! I didn’t think you’d be able to do it.”  I was too tired to say “WHAT? Oh no you didn’t!” Instead I laughed and smiled. Because you know I am going to train like (fill in the blank with a real famous athlete that we all look up to) to beat him at the next race.  I was so happy to be done I forgot to call my sister.  That and scared, she might have talked me into doing something else crazy.

It is the next day and the fat is really not happy with me.  I might even go so far as to say it is angry with me. Like I said earlier..if it doesn’t like how things are going with our relationship it can leave.