I got a great idea! Usually that statement receives the eye roll from my beloved husband. 80 percent of the time it means that I or, if I can talk him into it, we will do something so crazy there will be a new purchase of Bio Freeze, Ben Gay or Theralgesic. This time the idea was exclusive. So there was no “uh oh” face to give a hint that there may be some mishaps. Let me take you down the bunny trail so you know it was in fact a quasi logical idea.
Dolly Parton wears wigs.
- I love Dolly Parton in a healthy way.
- Models have admitted to augmenting their own hair.
- The models look good when they augment their hair.
- I want to look good.
- We have to wear hats in the winter
- As far as my thin blood is concerned we are living in winter.
- Wigs are like hats except they look like hair
- Half wigs are like hats that use natural hair
- You Tube said it was easy
If You Tube says it’s easy it must be. Oh how quickly I forgot the many hours spent trying to learn the Single Lady Dance to only be able to show anybody what the first 12 seconds kind of looks like. Or, that time I tried doing my own eye brows. Or, or, or…You get the point.
Well, I tried the half wig. Forty-five minutes before church I started my hair. Our church has a usual attendance of 50 people. So when my fifteen minutes tardy self walked in, I know they joined the Lord in that “what are we going to do with this girl” head shake. Thanks bunches You Tube.
The ladies insisted they couldn’t tell that I was wearing a wig. (They do love me!) And I thought this may be o.k. Usually when I think my crazy ideas are going to be “o.k.” nature has a way of making me rethink. And, yes, that is what happened next.
Well nature and a beer.
We decided to go to a local sports bar to support our Arizona Cardinals from afar. This meant driving 30 miles in 37 mile an hour winds. The winds were so severe semi trucks were being pushed into alternate lanes. When we got there I was flustered and grateful to be alive. Two beers with my meal please.
I am a vocal fan. Win or lose I love my Cardinals. For this reason, I am used to “looks” during the game. It wasn’t until I had entered the facilities a.k.a. the lady’s restroom that I learned a wind powerful enough to push a semi is equally powerful enough to turn a wig sideways. The first thought was: Can I stay in this bathroom and never leave ever again? Then it dawned on my that the love of my life, companion forever, my husband NEVER said a word.
It was at that moment realizations and wondering began to stir within my heart. For years I wondered how I grew to be (I believe the correct word would be) spunky. Now I know. And, now I am wondering, what was my husband looking at for two hours to not notice that his wife had a bird’s nest on the side of her head? Then again, maybe I don’t want to know the answer to that question.
I applied my new bright red lipstick readjusted my coiffure (that’s fancy talk for wigged hairdo) and left that bathroom with a spunkier and even more confident gait. I winked at the waitress as I bid that restaurant adieu. Knowing it wasn’t my first and it won’t be my last time, I uttered the words spoken silently by many: Thanks a lot You Tube!