Now, I Know What She Was Thinking.
There has been many an occasion where I have asked a child, “what were you thinking?” Most of the time they would look back at me with the same question in their eyes. He or she had no clue what prompted the crazy, crazy idea to come into action. Every once in a while, (and I loved it when this happened) an answer that was so simple and made so much sense would be the response. And I never told the child this, but I probably should have, the answer would fill me with awe.
Once only once have I wondered this about an adult. Somebody we knew married a mail order bride. One day he was alone and the next day we saw this guy melt into a sweet, doting husband. Of course none of us knew him the way she did. Truth be told none of us knew he had the gentle side that only appeared when she was in his presence. So many of us wondered, what was she thinking.
Yesterday, I admitted to my husband I know what she was thinking on several levels. I know confusion abounded in her life. I know because I am living it. Every day the question, “what is this?” has and will continue to be asked for years to come. I am kitchen gadget girl and for the life of me, I still can not figure out the original intent of this piece of technology:
Because my beloved lived here in his pre-Trish years I thought for sure there would be a story about the great Norwegian meals that were prepared using this gadget. He gave me the hand raised, shoulder shrug, ” I don’t know.”
His response made me feel better. Being the confused kid can be lonely sometimes. I know this woman coming from the other side of the world felt confusion.
Every day I look at the furniture and the rooms and the reality of this being my new life hasn’t quite sunk in. My heart knows this is my life and it’s a good one. My head is swimming in the questions. And you know what friends, I know I’m not the only one. We all have friends that took a new job, or got married-or unmarried, had a child, purchased a new home, sent a child off to college and the list could continue forever. Our hearts know that the change is for the better and our heads are screaming, “what just happened!”
Now I know she was thinking that the life that she would have with the man on the other side of the world was one worth living. And that if he was nice to her, he probably had nice friends that would be nice to her too. Most important life with him was far better than life without him. And….. it would never be boring.