The Old Distract Em Trick
The hubby’s birthday was the 31st. This presented a double challenge. First the day is 6, yes count them 6, days after Christmas. And New Year’s Eve. Trying to make his birthday significant with so many other things going on is a yearly challenge. I have failed in this endeavor once, and it is something I never want to do ever again. A sad husband is a bad bad thing.
This year was a repeat of a trick I pulled on him 5 years ago. I call it the old distract them from what they really got trick. Mr. B wanted a Zoom Drum machine. I know because I asked him. The problem with asking a person what they want as a present is the removal of the element of surprise. It is not a birthday present if the person is not mildly surprised by what they receive.
My first distraction was to comment heavily about the “coolness” of a snowboard. This is a forever joke in our home. The only time we have seen true fear in my husband, the man of the house, was on a ski trip last winter. Let’s just say there was girl screaming and the noise wasn’t coming from my mouth. He scared the children! So this hint appropriately elicited deep disdain.
Fate also helped with the deception. When I went to purchase the drum machine he requested, Sam Ash was out of stock. Apparently thanks to technology people are less inclined to use physical machines. Instead they are using computer software to create cool drum sounds. I, distressed, ran to the bathroom, because I may have a sad husband. I called Mr. B to ask if there was anything else he wanted. My good natured husband of course said something to the effect of “No,” and it’s all good we can get something after his birthday. Apparently he forgot who he married.
Instead I bought and Alesis pedal for him. Now this is where the trick comes. It is Mr. B’s birthday. As we are grilling steaks I hint that perhaps we should go to Flagstaff and play in the snow on the 1st. He looked at me with a very bad look and said, “No! You didn’t” That means woman why on earth would you buy me something that has anything to do with playing in the snow. I of course oozed excitment and reminded him that we have snow chains, so the trip would be safe. He got quiet. That means he was not happy with me.
In the spirit of the cold weather theme, we played hot and cold. He had to find the present he thought he didn’t want. My voice was squeaky with excitment. That means there was no way he was getting out playing the game. So he played along.
The shock on his face when he saw the real present was priceless. He changed faster than a mood ring in the refrigerator. And he laughed as he confessed all the not so nice things he was thinking about me buying him a snowboard. Then, I was surprised. I guess that’ll come with the territory when you’re the master husband birthday gift tricker.