I woke up looking for my glasses. Without them this writer is legally blind, and using the restroom is a risk. After 60 seconds of groping around the headboard, the floor underneath my side of the bed and Mr. B’s side of the bed I came to the conclusion they were really lost.
However, experienced with this scenario I did not panic. There is plan B. Plan B is the four year old prescription glasses that rest on the computer table for decorative purposes. When people come to our house they know two things. We read a lot, and should they need assistance reading they can use one of the various prescriptions that linger around the home.
I ambled to the glasses, put them on and good glory it was hard to see anything with them. This meant making steam with my mouth and cleaning them on the bottom of my pajama shirt. Mr. B gets upset when I do this, but hey it’s a four year old prescription. There are times when it’s o.k. to break the rules. Right?
Again I could not see. It was o.k. because the bathroom was only four feet away .In there was a more recent expired prescription. Eureka! There were my glasses. I thought, “Wow I must have been tired to go to bed without my glasses.” Usually I read for 20 minutes, but that didn’t happen.
Those didn’t work either. I washed my face and tried again. Nope. Don’t ask why I thought washing my face would make the glasses work better. All this was happening before a cup of coffee. What I did notice was: I could read the soap label.
“Wait a minute, I can read the things on the wall six feet away?” My chest swelled and I realized that I am 42. They said that your eyes change in your 40’s and Good Glory Mrs. B got herself a miracle! Just to make sure I tested my vision on things all over the house. Each time I was getting happier and happier. I thought of all the money I’d save by not buying contact lenses and glasses! That’s a lot of Starbucks!
The cell phone in hand, Mr. B was about to get the call. The good news because he would like to have lots more Starbucks too. And then fortunately for me, life has this way of saving me from ultimate humiliation. The need to rub my eyes became unbearable. So off I went to the bathroom to find the fallen eyelash that was bothering me.
Then it happened. I saw it clear as a bell. My contact lens. Sister girl fell asleep in her contact lenses! The rise and fall happened so fast the only thing I could do was laugh and tell Mr. B so he could laugh with me.
Then I knew what happened. The realization that the days are coming where I will have to be humble, because if I don’t life will teach me how. Now I know why old ladies are nice.