One of my biggest pet peeves is how people do NOT know how to use a car horn. I really don’t think Henry Ford said, “Hey let’s put something that has sound in the middle, so torked off people can uniquely express themselves.” The car horn was more of a wake up to warn somebody that danger is about to happen them real quick. So whenever I hear an angry person honk their horn and make gestures at the recipient of their wrath, I boil.
But that’s enough about my rant and car horns. That’s not the real story. The real story is I almost died today. For real, no dramatic exaggeration. I was on the freeway and the car in front of me, at the last minute, tried to change lanes into a lane that was stopped. So the front half of that car is in one lane and the back half is in my lane. All of a sudden, I was seeing more of this person’s personal life via their rear window than I ever wanted. My car stopped short of hitting them. I look in my rearview mirror to see the car behind me pulled into the same lane as the car that is stopped in front of me. The spacing my car made between the car in front of me and the car behind me was enough room for it to fit into the next lane. This is where the death part comes. The vehicle behind that car was a semi that because of the doofus in front of me had maybe 20 feet to go from 50 miles an hour to a complete stop. I said, in my head of course, “Oh expletive, I’m going to die.”
This was the craziest thing. At that moment I wasn’t afraid. I knew that in a matter of moments I was going to talk with Jesus face to face, and I was alright with it. Then like a miracle the car that stopped in front of me pulled in just enough for me to go forward and avert death. ( I guess I’ll still need to use the holy telephone a.k.a. prayer to talk Jesus.)
Then, just like in elementary school, I got in trouble for something someone else did. The cars that were mad that traffic had been halted honked at me! Never in my life have I been so happy to hear the misuse of a car horn. I was so happy I yelled back like a New Yorker. “Talk to the Bozo in the Jeep over there!” Heart still pounding and adrenaline surging through my body I went on to my destination. My two-fold relief kept me focused. I was happy to be alive. I like my life. And, I was surprised to find that death it is not a scary person in a black coat and sickle that is ready to snatch you at a moment. It is Jesus saying I’ll let that expletive go this time and me being able to laugh at being busted for saying it.
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